Extended Abstract

Introduction

The concept of motherhood has gradually evolved from a natural and self-evident role into a personal and voluntary experience. In today’s society, motherhood is no longer merely a biological duty but has acquired a multilayered meaning shaped by women’s values, desires, and social contexts. In recent years, Iran has experienced a noticeable decline in fertility and population growth rates. According to the World Bank (2024), Iran’s population growth rate in 2024 was approximately 1.05%, which marks a significant drop compared to previous decades when the rate exceeded 2%. Furthermore, the total fertility rate in Iran has decreased to about 1.69 children per woman, which falls below the replacement level of 2.1. If this trend continues, it could lead to population aging, a shrinking labor force, and various socio-economic challenges (AskariNadoushan & Razeghi-Nasrabadi, 2023: 99). Many women enter motherhood with an idealized and romanticized perception of the role, influenced by cultural beliefs, social expectations, and gender norms (Bowlby, 1969). However, numerous studies have shown that the lived experience of motherhood often diverges significantly from this ideal image. Mothers face a range of psychological, social, and identity-related conflicts and pressures, which deeply shape how they perceive and interpret motherhood (O’Reilly, 2010; Liss et al., 2013). For some women, the realities of motherhood only become apparent after entering into the role. As such, the decision to have only one child may not stem from impatience or disinterest, but rather from a critical reassessment of their initial experience of motherhood. Lahijan County has also seen a declining fertility trend in recent years. In 2024, the total fertility rate for women in Lahijan was 0.7 children per woman—well below the replacement level of 2.1. This decline may not be driven solely by economic factors but may also reflect a new, more realistic understanding of motherhood among women in the region. Many women, while accepting the role of motherhood, believe that the actual experience differs greatly from their initial expectations, which has influenced fertility reduction and reshaped family structures (Oakley, 1976: 14). If this trend continues, it may lead to significant national challenges. This study seeks to answer the following question: How do women interpret and give meaning to motherhood after experiencing it for the first time? What understanding of motherhood leads some mothers of an only child to prefer remaining one-child mothers?

Methodology and Data

This study employed a qualitative approach and used phenomenological methodology to explore and understand the meaning of motherhood. For data analysis, Colaizzi’s method was applied. Sampling was conducted purposefully. In the first stage, participants were recruited through engagement in public spaces, and interviews were conducted with those who expressed willingness and had sufficient time. In the second stage, snowball sampling was used, and participants were asked to refer other eligible mothers who might be suitable for the interviews. In-depth interviews were conducted with mothers aged 20 to 35 who have only one child and reside in Lahijan County. The study reached data saturation after 21 interviews; however, to ensure comprehensiveness, additional interviews were conducted, bringing the total to 24. The data were coded and analyzed using MAXQDA software. Through multiple stages of coding, main themes and sub-themes were extracted. To ensure the credibility and trustworthiness of the findings, the extracted categories were shared with the interviewees, explained in detail, and finalized upon their confirmation.

Findings

Data analysis from interviews with 24 mothers of an only child aged 20 to 35 in Lahijan County revealed five main themes that illustrate the complex and multifaceted nature of motherhood. First, motherhood as a balance between love and exhaustion reflects mothers’ emotional duality—experiencing joy and a sense of fulfillment alongside chronic fatigue and psychological wear. Second, unceasing responsibility and silent caregiving highlights the constant, often invisible labor of emotional and physical support, performed without expectations of acknowledgment or reward. Third, a bridge to transcendence or a chain on aspirations captures the ambivalent role of motherhood as both a path to self-actualization and a source of personal sacrifice, where women defer personal goals for family stability. Fourth, an experience shaped by social support from spouse and others underscores the vital role of relational support in moderating the pressures of motherhood. Finally, maternal focus and the marginalization of the husband points to shifting emotional dynamics within the family, where the child becomes the central focus, often at the cost of spousal intimacy. These findings portray motherhood as a deeply relational and context-dependent experience, informed by emotional labor, structural expectations, and evolving gender roles.

Discussion and Conclusion

Based on the findings of this study, it can be argued that the experience of motherhood among women in Lahijan is no longer merely a reflection of biological or cultural obligation, but rather a domain of internal tensions and social pressures. For these women, motherhood is not only an act of love and emotional attachment, but also a draining process—marked by concentrated responsibilities placed almost entirely on the mother, and compounded by the absence of adequate support systems. As a result, mothers often face fatigue, isolation, and the suspension of their personal aspirations. At the same time, many of these women express a desire for personal growth, economic independence, and active participation in society. In such a context, the decision to have only one child emerges as a deliberate and meaningful response—an attempt to strike a balance between the demands of motherhood and the preservation of personal identity.

Therefore, solutions must go beyond targeting individual maternal behavior and instead focus on revising unjust gender structures, enhancing institutional support, and transforming the cultural discourse around motherhood. Genuine paternal involvement in child-rearing, supportive facilities for mothers, and the recognition of women’s reproductive autonomy are essential steps toward enabling a healthier and more humane experience of motherhood. Moreover, at a broader level, there is a pressing need to redefine the meaning of motherhood within newly emerging urban contexts like Lahijan—where modernity, individualism, and new lifestyle values are reshaping traditional institutions. Within this evolving landscape, motherhood should not be seen as a relic of the past but as a dynamic and reconstructable concept—one whose future can only be envisioned by embracing its complexity.