Extended Abstract

Introduction

A stable marriage, accompanied by satisfaction and happiness, is a key factor for the health of the family and society; however, marriage faces challenges such as divorce and low-quality stable marriages, and has destructive effects on couples, children, and society. Identifying factors affecting the stability and desirable quality of family relationships is effective in reducing the rate of family crises, including marital instability, and can be effective in strengthening the foundation of the family and stable marriage. In this regard, the current study aimed to identify the experiences of Shirazi women with at least 25 years of marriage, regarding the stability of their marriage.

Method and Data

The study, with a phenomenological approach, has explored the experience of married women regarding marital stability. The statistical population is all married women in Shiraz who have been married for at least 25 years without divorce. The reason for choosing 25 years is that the family has gone through the stages of formation, expansion, and complete expansion and its challenges. The samples were selected purposefully based on the Claise practical design; the sampling reached theoretical saturation with the participation of 12 people. Before the interview, the participants were explained about the importance and purpose of the research, the confidentiality of the interview, and the freedom to leave the interview at any time, and the interview was conducted in compliance with ethical considerations; the interview was recorded and extracted, and transcribed without any errors; meaningful phrases were identified and from within the meaningful phrases, categories or partial concepts were extracted; then, concepts were categorized and in the next step, the categories were grouped, and finally the main core of the categories was extracted; In the final step, to test the validity, the findings were returned to the participants to confirm that the findings were consistent with their biological experiences. Research validation was conducted based on the Polkinghorne model. In order to achieve construct validity, questions were posed to the interviewees from different angles during the interview process, and in order to achieve reliability, the interviews were categorized by the researchers separately, the findings were compared with each other, and consensus and agreement among the researchers were achieved.

Findings

The research findings include demographic characteristics that play an effective role in the stability of marriage. The pattern of women's residence is a place for men, and despite all the challenges, most see it as an opportunity to gain experience and save money. For the majority, choosing a spouse was centered on family and love before marriage was not an issue, but love was created over time and has been effective in the continuation of life.

Having an effective relationship with one's spouse is another research topic. Women emphasized the importance of the role of couples in strengthening their lives. Couples have achieved the stability of marriage by socializing well with each other, maintaining respect, authority and status for each other, expressing emotions, understanding and commitment to their spouse, emotional intimacy, love, belonging, kindness, good sexual relations, spending time with each other, and avoiding comparing their lives with others. The lives of women who were able to establish a good relationship with their spouse are more stable. Continuous and friendly conversations about the feelings and expectations of the parties, maintaining the position of the spouse, have helped to achieve mutual understanding and reduce misunderstandings. Strengthening communication skills is a strategy for improving married life.

Flexibility and mutual understanding of the spouse in the form of personality traits such as responsibility, interest in growth, criticism, positive thinking, maturity, and acceptance of individual and gender differences have helped to build a better life.

Belief in the sanctity of cohabitation, as a religious and cultural value, especially in the face of challenges, has played a positive role in maintaining marriage and overcoming the problems of cohabitation.

Being forced to stay in cohabitation affects the durability of marriages. Having children, their marriage and gender, and concerns about the future of children, fear of stigma and people's words, society's negative view of divorced women, and lack of hope for a better future for women after divorce, women's financial and social dependence on their spouses, maintaining the family's honor, are the basis for continuing life. Also, women affected by conventional beliefs and misconceptions such as fatalism, the ugliness of divorce and marriage as the only way to find identity continued to live with their spouses despite dissatisfaction with their marriage.

The findings showed that women with management skills and capabilities in married life were able to cope with marital responsibilities and life challenges more effectively. Women considered problem-solving skills, resolving ambiguities, anger management, crisis management and creating a happy atmosphere at home, secrecy, adaptability and financial management as effective in building their strong lives. Among Iranian women, there is a trait such as contentment and adaptability, and most of the interviewees experienced a financial crisis with their spouses and survived the crisis with contentment and adaptability. Secrecy of couples, maintaining their privacy and not exposing their differences and shortcomings in life to others has been an important strategy for overcoming crises.

This finding points to the importance of communication, social and family networks in maintaining the stability of marriage; the family has a special place in the durability or instability of couples' lives; For some couples, families are a factor of sustainability with their support throughout their life together, and for some couples, they face interference and sedition from their families, and their lives are in crisis. Using formal counseling services was not common, and they consulted with knowledgeable and experienced family members. Those interested in using formal counseling services faced limitations, including opposition from their spouses.

Discussion and Conclusion

For some, the continuation of marriage is a matter of love and respect, and for others, it is a matter of compulsion, and the members experience a stressful life. It is suggested that, according to the findings, the seven identified concepts be reproduced using curriculum knowledge and taught to the current generation in the form of valuable education. By strengthening the knowledge and communication literacy of spouses with each other, we can witness the stability of marriage. Living together is like a school where people develop their knowledge during married life and, using the strategy of empowering skills, learn more knowledge in preventing problems and solving problems. By promoting the culture of visiting counseling centers, teaching correct methods of marriage, and teaching social and communication skills through holding training courses before and after marriage, it is possible to achieve the continuation of a quality marriage. Family counselors can use these findings to design effective educational and counseling programs that help increase the awareness and skills of couples in maintaining and strengthening their marriages.